Greetings from...

...Ballard.

Wow. I never thought I'd say that. It seems like only yesterday when I would make fun of Ballard and its Scandahoovian denizens -- fittingly, I now live in Ballard and am married to a Scandahoovian.

And that about covers the twists of fate in my life so far -- it turns out my 5th grade aspirations were pretty much spot on. So, to make a short story long (which, looking at my contributions to Enigma, seems to be my forte), here's my life in 6 chapters since Room 12:

Chapter I: The Dark Ages: Summer, 1992 - Sept 27, 1996
After doing three years in the slammer (a.k.a. Washington Middle School), I went on to Garfield where I studied various subjects whose exact names escape me at the moment. The only things I remember clearly from my early years at Garfield are being short and a high principal turnover rate.

Chapter II: The Renaissance: Sept 28, 1996
It was fall of my sophomore year at Garfield when I met Eliza Lagerquist. Two years removed from a two-week, long-distance relationship, I was a little "rusty" in the "interacting-with-members-of-the-opposite-sex" department. Nevertheless (perhaps Eliza lost a bet), we began "going out" and soon fell deeply in love.

Chapter III: The Bulldog Age: Sept 29, 1996 - August, 1999
Over the next few years, Eliza and I became much closer, and we even got voted "Most Likely to get Married" by the Garfield Messenger, along with two other couples (one half of one of which still needs to post, I might add...). No longer in the dating game, things seemed to go my way with each passing day. I rose up through the ranks of the mighty Bulldog football (I mean, tennis) team (though my hopes for the #1 rank never quite materialized, thanks to another Room 12 student...). I threw a few Halloween parties that didn't result in my parents' house getting trashed. I was even accepted to some colleges. Life was looking pretty good, until...

Chapter IV: The Grind: August 1999 - August 2003
"I assume you've all seen this before...", said the freshmen physics professor on Day 1 to a roomful (minus one) of nodding nerds, referring to a symbol that meant as much to me as a mass-mailed Christmas prayer from George W. (sorry, had to sneak that one in). And so began four long but ultimately rewarding years at Harvey Mudd College (actual school motto: "If you say it fast, it sounds like 'Harvard Med'" -- true story: In a recent conversation with a relative, having described Harvey Mudd in detail for several minutes, I was asked: "So, how did you like Cambridge?"). Anyway, I ended up majoring in engineering with a focus in control theory. On the way, I interned at Boeing during the summers of 2001, 2002, and 2003. And by the way, Eliza and I did attend separate 4-year colleges, lest we be accused of not giving our relationship the distance-test (though I should point out that, at a dead sprint, I could get from my dorm to hers in 30 seconds -- she went to Pitzer).

Chapter V: The Return of the Red-Eye: May 2003 - June 2004
After four long years of staring, with bloodshot eyes, late into the California night, at unflinching, ever-flickering CRT monitors, I decided I needed some change. So, I packed up and headed to the Aeronautics Department at UW, where my bloodshot eyes stared, late into the Washington night, at unflinching, ever-flickering CRT monitors. My original intent was to obtain a Ph.D. in Aeronautical Engineering, but then two things happened: my advisor warned me of a potential lack of funding for the following year (my first year was covered by a Teaching Assitantship), and I got a job offer from Boeing. Being the engineering student I was, I sought to define this dilemma mathematically to help guide my decision - this resulted in the following equations (Time measured in years from this point):
1) Staying at UW:
Salary = Peanuts - (Peanuts x Time)
2) Taking Job:
Salary = 4 x Peanuts + (Raise x Time) [Raise >= - Peanuts (and hopefully > 0)]
Even taking into account uncertainties in Peanuts and Time, the choice was clear -- so, in June of 2004, having completed 90% of the coursework toward a Masters', I began working at the "Lazy B" up in luxurious South Everett, Washington (I did manage to complete my MSAA degree last year by taking the remaining courses online)

Chapter VI: The Last Corny Chapter Title, I Promise: June 2004 - Present
Life has flown by (at mach 0.85, to be exact) since beginning work at Boeing. I work on the 787 program, and my job involves developing and testing algorithms ("Control Laws") that stabilize the airplane during flight -- interesting tidbit about commercial airplanes: if you fly regularly, chances are the flight computer has landed the plane at least once. If this scares you, just remember that the flight computer doesn't keep a flask of whiskey on hand for those long-haul flights... Anyway, life outside of work has been busy as well. In May of this year, Eliza and I bought a house together (just in time for home prices to plummet! Yay!). On a less sarcastic note, we also got married this summer (August 5th), on a remote beach on the coast of Maine -- I'll post some pictures soon. Oh, and we've got a feisty two-year-old named Rocky (don't worry, he's a cat).

Well, that about sums it up. It's been a long road since Room 12, and I can't wait to read about other peoples' travels, trials, tribulations, tutelage, failed attempts at alliteration, etc. I really hope the rest of you find the time to post!

P.S. I don't really resemble a crazed zombie rooster (see Matt Look's post for a more accurate portrayal of my likeness)